Pittsburgh After Work

There are four distinct levels of drinking a person can encounter over the course of an evening. The first stage is weird and awkward and I have yet to understanding the concept, but most people refer to this as social drinking. Typically, these people have less than 6 drinks over the course of the entire night and are fully functional and able to drive.

The second level is your typical drunk that most people experience on a regular basis. This is a definitely a level you can reach during a work night and make it to work the next day without looking like you spent the night in a Mexican jail. However, while you may be okay the next day, you are still susceptible to most of the trickery and chicanery that women tend to try pull off.

The third stage of drinking is the brown out. This might be the coolest stage of all. You remember bits and pieces of the night but not everything, and the stuff you forgot comes back to you once someone reminds you if it. While this is the best drunk stage of them all, it is by far the hardest to accomplish. If you eat too many nachos and you will just be drunk and have to remember all the fat women and tools at the bar, don’t eat at all and you will be in full out blackout mode. To accomplish this feet you have to balance your beer-to-food-to-shot in take. You should eat earlier and have a steady supply of beers throughout the night and if you keep up a strong pace you should be well on your way to brown out center.

The final stage of drinking is the black out . . also known as time traveling. (Note: Black outs are awesome and do have their place but you can’t expect to do this every time you go out or somebody will put baby in the corner) Black outs are awesome when you had a shitty day, or someone else is picking up the tab, or when you need to make your in-laws feel very uncomfortable but you have to be sure not to overdue it. Black outs are like a great line in a movie . . .at the right time they can make the moment but pulling and overused “Wedding Crashers” quote isn’t winning you any friends.

Well my friend here is your guide to drinking so let the brown outs begin.